God, hear my cry. Let me reach for Your Strength and Wisdom!

Today, I've felt sinned in many ways. I've felt the extremes of emotions. I'm feeling stuck at a junction. Lost, confused and needing a motivation.

I've finally met the guy that made friends with me over Frenster. He's called Chip. Nonetheless, I've chatted long before we met over MSN a long while ago. I've got to know that he's a Bi. As mentioned in my past entries, I was unsure of my sexual orientation. Now, thanks to him, I finally know what I am. I'm a perfectly normal guy. Yay~

The outing started off with me meeting Chip outside S&K at TM. We bought snacks at level B1 before buying tickets for "Mr Woodcock" at GV. We entered the cinema at about 6.50pm and the show started way past 7.05pm. I was having a blast till 8.22pm, when Chip held my right hand. I was shocked. (To the point whereby I started shivering, the air-con contributed to the shivering too..) His hands were soft yet authoritative. I actually felt safe with him holding my hand for just awhile. This was when I started my prayer to the Lord. I managed to regain a little bit of common sense to excuse myself to the toilet to commit myself to a full prayer for the Lord's strength and wisdom.

Just as I exit the toilet and head back to the cinema, I thought it would create a tension and he would behave himself again. Nonetheless, upon settling down, he reached for my hand again. This time, his thumb was rubbing in a circular motion to my thumb. I felt a sense of calmness, weirdly enough. My senses jolted back when he started to stroke my right arm. I tried to reject he come-ons. However, as mentioned, he was authoritative.

Nonetheless, the emotions I've felt was rather interesting in a way. I feel him being someone familiar, as if I've met him before. His scent reminds of someone I knew well but I don't remember who. When he held my hands, and if I were to be an idiot like Shu Hui, it would have felt like a father holding his son. Gentle, yet protective. Sighs. If only he wasn't a Bi, I would have like to have him for a brother. Sighs.