I'm back!!!

Woah, it's been awhile since I've updated my blog. Too busy I guess. Haha.

Today was great fun with TP Rawks! I actually got to handle 2 rabbits. It's basically an event that uses the chance to promote the various courses in TP. So, I'm promoting for Diploma in Veterinary Technology (irony is, I'm not from that course.) Haha. Just love those 2 bunnies. So adorable. In any case, the 2 poor things were so stressed out by the end of the day. Mr Jomer and I were like total zombies. Try handling 8 sessions of workshop, going thru the procedures of rabbit restraint techniques 8 frigging time.

I am nonetheless pissed off with how my class's CCN committee working procedure. However, since this year I'm not involve with my class's CCN day. I don't really give a damn.

Onegai! Sensei onegai!

Hmmm. I've been slacking at home for the past 2 days. Some friends decidedly came online and started rattling at me for not being serious about my new semester. It's a heck care case for me, I'm not even remotely worried. Doesn't matter whether I get good grades or not, it's just a matter of passing or not. Well, I expect a whole lot of hate letters after my sudden disclaimer and being so irresponsible about it. I know there are a handful who looked for me in terms of motivation when I was in my year 1. Well, all I can say that times have changed. Why am I working so hard? Why not I treat my work as play? Doesn't matter what the results are, as long as I enjoy, it should be fun. Why push myself to the extremes of me limits?

Tonikaku! Anyway, I just discovered the "Onegai!" series of anime. It starts with "Onegai Sensei!" with the follow up anime "Onegai Twins!". I personally preferred "Onegai Sensei!"

A boy, age 18, continuing his life from age 15 due to a standstill. A girl, an alien, supposedly came down a trip to determine whether Earth's educations is beneficial to us, terrestrials.

A love story, develops with a chance encounter. Bonds made through understanding and petty fights. The desire of two to be with each other under abnormal circumstances. The willingness to try.

My grading: 10 out of 5. (It's THAT good..)

Untitled again..

Couldn't think of a proper title for this entry.. Just figuring that I could at least update my blog once in a while. I really figured that perhaps, Chinese horoscopes does work it's wonders in it's own ways. I mean, it was predicted this year was inauspicious for the snakes and dragons if I remember.. Well, in a way, ya it's true. I now have friends who suffered a whole lot this year. Probably more than me, yet they are able to conquer those obstacles much more effectively.

Well, to all you guys and girls out there, fret not. Whether you are currently facing the dilemma of your life, not having to face one at the moment or even just resolved it. I hope that we can all slow down in life once in a while. Just slow down a little and just enjoy what life has to offer. Joy can be taken simply with a smile. So let us all buck up, take a deep breath, and flash our mega-watt smile!! For God has not forsaken us! Cheers! :D

The hardest thing in the world..

The hardest thing about letting go, is always the letting go itself. In life, I will not deny that we have to leave certain things behind just to move forward. It really hurts. I'm really sick of all these advancements. You advance, start on your advancement, then later stop on what you're doing and then move on again. What's the point?

School's great!

After the mentally draining 7 weeks long holidays, I'm finally back in school. Amen~ However it seems much to the fact that I really really hated my timetable. So much breaks in between... I wonder where have my strong faith disappear to. It seems that my will gets weaker by the day. I couldn't get a hold of myself even after a prayer. The only thing that seems to work is only keeping myself preoccupied. However, if this keeps up, I might just cutting myself again.. I really developed a strong taste for seeing blood in the past 2 days..

My guardian! Go forth!

A few days have passed since my birthday. Truly, I have grown older, kudos to physical attributes anyway. Psychologically, I still feel as vulnerable as a 3 years old kid does. A journey of finding my true self had revealed things to me that I already knew but forgotten. Alas, I realised the factor that sought my memories of self-conscious to be erase. The hurt that wrenched pain true into my heart and into the very fine lines of my soul.

I acknowledged the fact that our acquaintances would only last for a short 7 months. Yet, in my heart, I’ve known for a fact that you are the only true friend that I can ever have. Yes, for you are my brother. Happiness surged with the bitter bubbles of dread as you have acknowledged me, for I have much anticipated the dreaded future. Truth can be predicted if one can embrace the maledictions and negativity in life. I was one made to be such. Scorn was my way of life, being cynical was like breathing, and pessimism was simply the truth. All were true, until the day I met you. I would say that initially I had a distaste for you. The stronger me back then, saw you as someone pathetic, as a miserable scholar without control with his emotions, as a technical failure in life.

I had a goal, that is to achieve my diploma and being able to enter biomedical science. Of all things, why biomedical science? I am a practical person. I have carried a façade of being clear-minded with a good goal for too long a time. Frankly as to speak, my decision to enter biomedical science during my university days was simply because of my strong desire to live a high life. I always had the capabilities to lead, the capabilities to get things done and often accountable. Yet, since young, I’ve already seen through the disgusting truth about adults and their way of politics.

It doesn’t matter whether you have the capabilities of a great leader or not, one thing is definite for sure, you are GOD when you hold power. I often shine in my primary school days back when I was in Boon Keng. However, my achievements were often ignored. A daughter of the School’s Director, a wonderful and pure maiden, so talented, so intelligent was often the crux of the teachers’ conversation. I was often on par with her. We so constantly alternate the top two positions in class. Yet, I am often ignored. Why?

Truth dawned on me when I was in my primary 4. A stray conversation caught my attention. “…Of course what, she’s the director’s daughter, of course will get anything la!” In order to gain due recognition, I must first attain the power. Since on, I often befriended myself to figures of authorities. Backing myself up by someone of adequate power, it’s just one strategy. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t just stop there. I often backstab people just to achieve my ultimate goals. It’s the same thing I did to get myself out of troubles.

Since then, I’ve sold my soul to the dark lord and manipulated hearts of many as a capable yet “easy to bully” fat kid. Things began to change for me since I entered my secondary 1 year. Life began to taste sweeter, when I met my first buddy. Yup, you’ve guessed it, it’s –hy– (tada~). His ability to stay strong in his righteous beliefs kept me in awe. Quiet and reserved, I initially thought that I can make him my lackey (-hy- so sorry!). Still, when I got to know him better, realisation began to dawn me. So what if I am being ignored all the time? So what if I do not get power and the gold? He sparked the hidden angel within in me, the inner man whom wished to treasure and enjoy life without restriction. For the first time in a long while, I had finally smile without hiding my true feelings.

Ah yes, -hy- was the first who opened my enclosed heart. Technically as to speak, he was the first knight. The very saviour I’ve met. My knight, my confidante and my adviser.

Yet, he wasn’t as unique as the one who opened my heart thoroughly and freed the true one within me. To the one who truly opened me up, thank you. Though I’m unable to let go of this past and all of it’s memories. I’m still grateful, grateful for having you acknowledging me as a brother, as an equal. For he is the one who proves me wrong in all aspects of life I thought otherwise.

Go forth my guardian! Ride the winds and soar! Be one with the sky and blast your way through the obstacles in life. For you are the Albatross, flying high and mighty above the sea. Through the storm, you’ll find the peace in the lands and the joy of abundance!

My very first video!

Check it out!

Why is it so easy to be misunderstood?

They say that family will always be one's pillar of support. It is also said that family will cheer you on in times of need and that they'll also be there to lend you a listening ear. My family, you all asked, and I can give you no answer.

No, do not be mistaken. My family is not broken. It's just that we lack this important drift called communication.

Everything started to go awry for me since after my term test for year 2.1, leaving still relatively affected by it. Now, my family is suffering the aftermath of it due to my incompetency and inability to handle my situation well. When things started to go wrong, my first idea of support and aid was to seek help from my friends. It wasn't my family, it wasn't my parents. Little wonder too for it was taught to me since young that "I should solve my own problems and not rely on other's capacity." This statement is true, for I am on my own when I'm facing my own troubles. That's why, since young, I've never consulted with my parents on my problems for fear that they'll condemn me. (If memory serves me correct, they did condemn me, that's why I'd rather seek external help.)

However, they blamed it on me for not seeking help from them immediately after they pry into my life. However, I did not tell them the true crux of the matter. When I even decided to sit down and talk to them about my decision to go onto a new faith, they started giving me some mumbo jumbo. Still there are still some sense in their point of view. However, it is in my point of view that sometimes their type of thinking is not suited in this era in life. Yet, who am I to fault them for growing up in a post war era? Sometimes I even tried to be considerate about the fact and actually go along with it. Yet, they never seem to notice. Being thrifty is a virtue, that's true. However, are you able to bring the money into afterlife? Ya, I know, more money means better life. Nowadays, material needs and wants have no appeal to me other than food and IT stuffs. (Haha, that's for another day.)

Ya, perhaps in a way, I am defiant to my parents. Sometimes, I wish they can understand that now I'm facing a crisis that I thought I could not handle, however I'm still coping by. By being so critical about me all the time nowadays really isn't making things better or easier for me at all. It's not like I don't want to heed them or anything, it's just that there are times I want to do things my way. Even though it might fail, but hey, I'll not regret it at the very least. You know what really pisses me off badly? They always say that: "Look, we are your parents. At the very least you could do is not to doubt us. We will never harm you in anyway. We are really disappointed in you thinking that we bring harm to you." I mean F***! Look, just because I do things my way means that I doubt their abilities and wisdom? Heck no! What stupid logic is this? I really wished that at the very least, even if they couldn't understand my intentions, at least give me the support.

Take for example. I want to buy a present for a friend. Well, so what if it's overly priced? I mean well, one of the reasons I went back to working part time during the school holidays was to get the cash for this. Yet, my mum complains about it. Well ya, friendship isn't determined by cash and monetary value. That I very well understand. What I hope to achieve here is not because I want to show off to my friend that I am loaded or something. It's rather that I want to buy it for my friend because I feel that it's really worth it. Even if one day my friend might turn back on me. Furthermore, my mum did say that this holiday's earnings I get to spend it as I deem fit. If she says so, then why? Why interfere? I understand her intentions that I might get hurt in the end or be on a bad stand or situation.

Seriously, they tell me to start acting my age. Fine. When I start acting like they age group I should be in, they make another big fuss out of it. So which one should I go now? Be like a big childish oaf or go acting like my age group?

I think I'll start fasting ya.. Once the school starts. How should I do it? 7am to 7pm? That'll be good. At least can slim down. Wahaha. Do it for 15 days.

Try it out!

Had the luck of Lissa sending me this game. Quite fun.

Personal Ratings: 4/5

Sushi Go Round Serve all the customers in the Sushi Restaurant

Play this free game now!!

Hmm. Trying day, quite worth the while. Haha.

After a break of 3 long days, finally went back to work. My lazybones were screaming at me, I swear. Dragged myself all the way from Tampines to Harbour Front. So so darn tired. Lucky me though, See Kia wasn't around for that day's shift. THANK GOD! Ah Hao was there. Things started out pretty rough for me cuz I was still in the holiday mood. LoL. But lucky I went. Hehe, managed to catch a glimpse of the elusive Clover. Working in HFC for about 5 weeks and like this is the first time seeing her? LoL. Cute girl though. Worth it, it was worth chionging work that day. XD

Hey hey, my birthday's coming real soon.. 21st October. Yahahaha.

God, hear my cry. Let me reach for Your Strength and Wisdom!

Today, I've felt sinned in many ways. I've felt the extremes of emotions. I'm feeling stuck at a junction. Lost, confused and needing a motivation.

I've finally met the guy that made friends with me over Frenster. He's called Chip. Nonetheless, I've chatted long before we met over MSN a long while ago. I've got to know that he's a Bi. As mentioned in my past entries, I was unsure of my sexual orientation. Now, thanks to him, I finally know what I am. I'm a perfectly normal guy. Yay~

The outing started off with me meeting Chip outside S&K at TM. We bought snacks at level B1 before buying tickets for "Mr Woodcock" at GV. We entered the cinema at about 6.50pm and the show started way past 7.05pm. I was having a blast till 8.22pm, when Chip held my right hand. I was shocked. (To the point whereby I started shivering, the air-con contributed to the shivering too..) His hands were soft yet authoritative. I actually felt safe with him holding my hand for just awhile. This was when I started my prayer to the Lord. I managed to regain a little bit of common sense to excuse myself to the toilet to commit myself to a full prayer for the Lord's strength and wisdom.

Just as I exit the toilet and head back to the cinema, I thought it would create a tension and he would behave himself again. Nonetheless, upon settling down, he reached for my hand again. This time, his thumb was rubbing in a circular motion to my thumb. I felt a sense of calmness, weirdly enough. My senses jolted back when he started to stroke my right arm. I tried to reject he come-ons. However, as mentioned, he was authoritative.

Nonetheless, the emotions I've felt was rather interesting in a way. I feel him being someone familiar, as if I've met him before. His scent reminds of someone I knew well but I don't remember who. When he held my hands, and if I were to be an idiot like Shu Hui, it would have felt like a father holding his son. Gentle, yet protective. Sighs. If only he wasn't a Bi, I would have like to have him for a brother. Sighs.

Stay strong!

Sometimes moving on in a particular Faith group or Religion is difficult for some, when especially there are people who are unable to withstand hypocriticism. I don't think that virtues that are exhibited by pious people are hypocritical, for virtues can be nurtured. Though the mindset is not there, but once things fall into place, God will take control and lets everything runs it's full course.

Nonetheless, we as humans can only sit back and watch. Ugly as it sounds, we are merely pawns in a chess-game. However, unlike the real chess, God has given us something better, He gave us the power to control over our lives for the whole period that we live. Have Faith and forge on friends..

Jia you buddy!

I'm so sick today la.. Nonetheless I went down to CentrePoint Mall in Orchard, why you ask.. Sighz, to support a friend lor. He ar, sad sia... I always thought this guy quite independent and street-wise de. However, seeing someone he likes, he just turned into a total moron. Sian lor. Still have to go down to CentrePoint's Coffee Bean there to support him sia. Then you know what, he still go buy strepsils, liang cha (herbal tea) and a get well card for the girl.. How sweet right?

I've been thinking how sudden infatuation with another person can result in irrational decisions by some people. (Oh btw, I was trying to act like an ignoramus with the above paragraph... So Singaporean.. XD) Sometimes, I just wonder, why do people do stupid things when they are infatuated with someone but only to realize later that it's only an infatuation and not love.

So coming back into topic, then what is real love? Is it really all that irrational? Or is there logic behind? Personally, I did mention something about my own personal opinion what true love is in one of the previous blogs. Yet now I wonder, is it really that big a deal to fall head over heels over someone? Well, I do get envious seeing couples on the streets. Nonetheless, I think I'm beginning to really enjoy being a single bachelor nowadays. No commitments, no restrictions and no restraints. I guess it's pretty much on which phase in life we all are at to decide what we want most in time.

*Notice notice*

I've created a main page for my blog.

http://ultimate-black-diamond.biz.ly

For all out there that linked or tagged me, please change it to the above address instead.

A truly inspiring anime movie..

I was watching "Shinchan - The Adult Empire Strikes Back". I have always been a fan of Shinchan and will forever be. This anime is often misinterpreted as Ecchi, Hentai and Shouta Ai. I strongly disagree. Yes, the creator does in fact uses some unorthodox methods to allow his manga and anime works capture attention, yet the moral of the story is often pure and simple.

This movie once again revolves around our young heroes and namely Shinchan. In order to prevent some psychopath couple from turning back time into the 20th century, it's up to Shinchan and gang (namely friends and family) to be up for the task.

1st message: We all need friends. No matter how enigmatic, erratic or loner one may be, we all need friends. This, we must open our hearts to try new things.

2nd message: Family is just as important. No matter how much we can quarrel within a family, perhaps even hate each other. It's only a matter of time before you realize that in fact, you love everyone in it. In times of need, true kinship will then surface.

3rd message: It's important to move forward. No matter how nostalgic the past is, we can no longer be a part of it. It's is all part and parcel of life, and in seeking the future, there will be revolution and leading to the improvements of society.

All the time, there will be animes out there that have good artwork but a weak and pathetic storyline. Rare gems like Shinchan are hard to come by. True that Shinchan relies pretty much on simple drawings and sketches, however it is more important that there is a true and meaningful message to the anime.

We, as human beings, are born to learn till the very end. Don't you agree?

Very irrelevant post...

Woo hoo... It's coming!! IT'S COMING!!!

Well, it's been awhile since I've blog.. Okay la, maybe only 5 days only la. But hey, I'm a typing junkie. What to do? I've well overseas lately to this extremely large nation. Wanna know where? It's called procrastination. Lol. Sighs. Everything's been a deadknot. Nothing ever moves at this point in time. However, I trust that the Lord has plans for everything and this is part of His great plan. Slyvester shared a rather insightful phrase from the bible with a few people (whom exactly, I do not know).

"... and my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."-Phil 4:19

The faith will be built on my believe for the Lord and the trust for Him. That's why, I'll hold on with His strength and wisdom till He decides to move on with the next phase of His plans for me.

Oh ho ho ho... My birthday's nearing too.. 21st October.. To you guys out there: "*Hint hint..*"

Trading the Greater for the Lesser.. Why have I been doing that for the past few years?

http://www.enewhope.org/video/index.php?video=492

I had the luck of Sly sending me a hyperlink to a Church Service. I guess it really didn't matter to which church I'm at. All services are the same everywhere I guess, spreading the Words of God. Nonetheless, services are supposedly to teach people out there the values of the Lord as well as the promises the Lord gave to us. What I worry the most is me backsliding again. Nonetheless, I feel that the results will be different this time round. This time round, I really want to do it badly, or let me rephrase this, I need to do it.

Like the case study in video, God gave me a birthright like everyone else. That is Salvation. Well, I guess I have been too quick on seeking a short term solution every time that resulted me in backsliding. I've tried to talk to my parents about my decision and my Dad gave me the cynical look all the way. So what if they do not believe it, so long that in my heart I believe and hold the faith, I seriously feel that I do not need to prove anything to anybody. So, this time round, I'm holding fast to this birthright of mine and fighting for it.

WHY IN TARNATION?!

Am I really associated with Shizuru so much? I dun wanna be a gay.. T_T

Your Gemstone is Amethyst

Dignified, impressive, and wise. You have a deeply spiritual soul

What Gemstone Are You?

My Japanese Name is..

Your Japanese Name Is...

Shouta Kaoin

What's your Japanese Name?

Yet Another Very Random Survey.. =_="

I'm no Dog.. XD

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group... You're always up for a good time or conversation And you stick with your friends no matter what You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Another Very Random Survey..

Oh ho ho? Am I to be Shizuru Viola? XD Crapperz.. I'd rather by Shizuru Fujino..

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Very Random Survey.. O_O"

Never did I expect to have such comments..

You Scored a 70% which means you are a ....

Sincere Lover. You are such a total sweetheart people have a hard time taking you seriously. Sadly, because you are so sincere and sweet you get walked all over. Try to hold your ground a little bit and beware of the selfish lover. The feed off of sincere lovers like yourself. Even though you get used and abused a lot you still have a heart of gold.

What kind of lover are you
Take More Quizzes

Goodness.. Ashley Tisdale rocks..

From the really bitchy girl saboteur from High School Musicals, to the grown up lady of astounding musical talents and looks. Ashley Tisdale had simply mortified me to my toes when I saw her "He said, She said" MV. She had completely transformed from the ugly duckling into babelicious. XD

How nice would it be if many things had gone well for me..

Sighs.. It has been a tormenting week for me yet again. Pressure had came and set itself onto me and I broke down twice. Kinda sucked when everyone whose trying to help you the best they can and you cannot pull yourself together. I've felt the Lord Himself. However, things are not really going well now with me and my parents. There are simply too many things I don't want to tell them.. Now that they've cornered me, I'm left with no choice cause my freedom's at stake here. I'll give them answers, but not the whole picture. If my first Son to Father talk works out, then gradually I'll reveal various issues to him. Sighz, if only things did not happened to me and technically battered me to such an extent. Man.. My legs are starting to cramp real bad.. Sleep I need and now sleep I will get.. Time to snooze now.. Be right back. Haha..

Today's sermon was the BEST sermon I've ever attended! Thank you God!

I was supposed to go out with Chit to help out in some Children's day event today. In the end we scrapped the idea coz Chit was unfashionably sick. Yet, he tried to play a good host. Thank you so much despite all the troubles I've caused. XD After which I headed to the National Library at Bugis along Victoria Road I think. Managed to dig out something read-worthy. It was the "Ruby Throne Trilogy" by Deborah Chester. The writing style somewhat differs from Robin Hobb, yet I couldn't resist reading it. It was THAT amazing for after Robin Hobb, there isn't a single worthy author that is capable of captivating me like this. Currently nearing the end of book 1. Hehe..

After all the above, I met up with Chit and Quan for lunch at about 4pm. So late.. :x Then, I voluntarily allowed myself to be dragged to a church sermon for Polytechnic students.. I was a Christ believer till secondary 4. I've been believing, then backsliding and then re-believing Christianity over and over. This time round, I was just really too desperate to try anything that can stop myself from cutting again. At the initial of the sermon, it was relatively awkward for me as it doesn't seem right for a cynical back-slider like me to be under the presence of the Lord. It made me felt inferior and unworthy, and after all that I've done to myself after knowing that God created me not for this purpose and for much greater things.

During the worship after the praise, I've began to feel the once familiar feelings again. Many say that it is the work of the mind, and that as a Science student, I shouldn't allow myself to believe "crap" like this. Nonetheless, I assure all of you, the feelings are true. During the worship session, I poured out all my thoughts and emotions to the Lord, beseeching for His help and forgiveness. This is when I suddenly felt a slight giddiness and that a small portion of my burdens had been lifted away. Thus, I began to cry.. Wonder if Chit saw that.. Lolz, he was sitting next to me. XD It was nonetheless embarrassing for a tertiary student to be crying in an upbeat sermon. However, for once in a very long time, I've really felt the love of my Lord. This is true. I can even swear to you right now that I'm not going to do anything foolish and foolhardy anymore. I felt like I've gained a whole lot of new strength after that earnest prayer and that it was heeded. Thank you Lord for Your magnanimity and praise to You for all Your Love to humanity.

Today's sermon was rather empowering. Touching on the topic "The kind of people God will anoint". Pastor Jasmine was rather enlightening in trying to interpret the Bible's text for us. She's amazing for it is the first time I'm able to understand and focus on the sermon without falling asleep. Thank you God!

I want the Lord to give me double anointing. I want to learn from Him and many others whole-heartedly and grow under the Lord's meticulous hands. I want to learn to be really humble for that will let me see new lights and perspective. And Lord, teach me to be someone who will not procrastinate and put whatever I know into action. Give me the power to "DARE TO TRY".

Thank you Lord!

I'm just so tired but I can't stop..

Working today with Geraldine was fun.. I somehow realised that it is only with See Kia around that only business is good.. However, not with Geraldine.. Wonder why? Hehe.. Nonetheless, I couldn't resist the urge to cut myself once more while at work today. It seems that I'm relying on my 2 best-friends very often: Olfa Cutter 01 and Olfa Cutter 02. XD

Piccie 5

It has been an emotion roller coaster for me since day 1 of my development to cut myself. It seems that I'm beginning to be reliant on it as an outlet to destress..

-Bird- came to tell me today that I am suffering from depression. I wouldn't remove that possibility, yet I couldn't really believe it. Me?! Of all the bo-chap people in the world, me?! I'm the heck-care type of guy. So it wouldn't seem right if someone who don't care anything suffer from depression. Whatever the case, I feel the need to stop it. However, I couldn't summon the strength to forge on. I've already felt that I'd let down a lot of people. People who tried their best
to help me in my time of need. People whom care for me.

All the talk about people who care for me. I really don't feel that they actually care. I think I am now numbed by how others feel towards me. I feel neglected all the time. Left out, alone. Yet, I know that the old me will pull it through and try my best to prove others wrong and colour all lives.

Am I beginning to get addicted with the penknife treatment?

Hmmm.. I was fine today till I went out with Yunqi, Yee Shin and Janice today. We were at Bakery Cafe Provence for some wonderful confectionery. The cream cornet was great. Till Kaka called me up to work coz Kor hurt his toe while at his CCA camp. Lolz. Nonetheless, I went into some weird mood swing and headed to the cafe's toilet. However, I'm quite happy with the battle scars. XD It turned out visible on camera. Somehow getting addicted to it. Lolz.

Piccie 4

Out somewhere in Sengkang..

Hmmm. Was at Chit's house cooking on Wednesday. So damn funny. Had a bit of red wine. Lolz, I'm not 18 yet. Hmmm. I swear, why does wine tastes so much better than beer? XD

Gratefully, my contribution with Chawanmushi turned out fine. Just a bit to "yolky" on the taste. Nonetheless, silkiness was achieved! XD

I'm so bored now. XD

Chit does magic with potato flakes, milk and butter and turns it into mash potatoes?!


Dubious looking burger ingredients..


The sample doesn't taste as good as it smells.


There's Melvin staring at Chit's.... God, what is he staring at?! Zomg..

I'm so bored. So I'm now starting something new for this Blog Board.

I am so darn bored. 2 days into the week and I feel like jumping into a time-warp and get over this holidays. How nice would that be.. Haha.. Today's DRP, I had lunch with Wei Lee, Louis and this junior called Jasmin. Hmmm.. I can't really pinpoint it, but I dare say that she reminds me of someone I know but not sure who.. XD Then again, that particular someone I know shouldn't be as bimbotic as her given that my personal circle of friends do not really include people who are "beyond scientific explanation" kind of dumb.. Crud, and I thought Shu Hui was hopeless enough. Lol.

Nonethless, back to topic. What should I do to keep this blog board entertaining? One option would be to share all my deepest darkest secrets with you all, but that would pretty much make me an easy target for blackmails. XD Another option would be that I start writing a story. That pretty much has no link between chapters with retarded ideas in it. However, that would really test the limits of my creativity and writing power. What to do? Any suggestions anyone?

Crud. I was scrolling down my MSN when I saw Lewis (an ex-classmate) wrote this for his personal message: "i love u, u love me, let's gang up to kill barney, with a shot gun BANG BANG, barney on the floor, bye bye purple dinosaur. (:"

Good lord. O.O"||

Omfg.. What just happened?

Ideally, I should have removed the post below. However, I want to make it up for the entry count. Haha. Nonetheless, I've regained my sane mind with my ex-chinese teacher preaching the crap out of me and my parents drilling threats in my brain. Lolz. There are a couple of people I'd like to thank for trying to at least talk me out of literal mutilation of my arm. Though, it wasn't much of a success, still, I'm grateful.

I'd like to thank Siti, Huiyi, Jia Hui and last but not least Shu Hui. I'd like to thank my manager/grandma Geraldine for trying to console me. Thank you all for trying to help me. At least now I've managed to pull through my deranged mood-swings and hopefully become stronger.

There are just so much factors involve that just literally triggered my lunacy. Final conclusion before the end of today is to "love myself".

*Edit: I forgot to include Yun Qi. Thank you Yun Qi~~

The amazing penknife therapy

When I first heard of people cutting themselves with they are under pressure. I thought it was stupid. However, it seems that it's not. I've tried it not too long ago. I have no idea what driven me to do it, but let me tell you.. It's a great thing. It helps. At least for a little bit. I started out small. Soon I'll get it bigger. The pain given by the knife is supposed to "counteract" the pain and depression you are having. Thus, the bigger, the better. Nonetheless, I'm a spineless coward at the moment. However, let me assure my general audiences that it will get bigger and much more surprising.. Hmm.. Still, how surprising can cuts get? Lolz.

Piccie 1


Piccie 2

Piccie 3

If only I have a better camera to focus on the fine blood lines. XD

The 2nd week into the 7 weeks holidays

This is awful. Only the 2nd week and I feel like I'm gonna die of boredom for this holidays. Sometimes I wonder if is there really a need for a long term break from school? It's just that I'm so accustomed to go to school every weekdays for the past 14 years of my life that if I do not go to school for even just a weekday, I feel a certain sense of unease. Haha.

It'll be nice if the holidays are for just a month though. But then it'll pose a problem for my DRP. XD

It's a hectic week for me and -Bird-. He's starting work in Yo*****ya, and he's doing a great job. Haha. It's somehow depressing to be around that guy when he picks things up so fast and makes me feel practically like a dunce. Haha.

I'm feeling somewhat neglected. Sobs..

Pandan, the latest gibberish trend. Check it out..

After Waseda Shibuya's preview school festival ended, -Bird- and I took service 143 with Keitaro and friend (I think his friend was called Jonathan or something like that). Nonetheless, the story as follows. While on bus 143, we realized we were circling around the area "Pandan Gardens". Then following which, we saw "Pandan Road", "Pandan Ave _", "Pandan CC", Pandan Blvd", "Pandan Pri School", "Pandan this" and "Pandan that". Ok, making it short, it was a Pandan world out there. Then we started talking gibberish. We began replacing words with "Pandan". Like "Welcome to Pandan-pore" (Actually it was Singapore) Then, we're like "What the Pandan?" (*Heck) We were on the MRT when we began giving names to the train stations like "Pandanes" (Tampines) and "Pan-dok" (Bedok). I guess we were that bored that day and somehow, Pandan became the butt of all our jokes.. Sorry to all residents living in the Pandan area! Forgive us!

Saturday was fun.. Thank you kor!!

Wowzers. Saturday I had the honours of staying over at Ah -Bird-'s (aka my kor..) place. Gambit was supposed to be there, but in the end he gave the excuse: "I dun wanna come coz my whole body's aching.." Crappy excuse, but hey, gives me more time to spend with my kor. :D

We went to Waseda Shibuya Senior High School in the noon for the school's preview festival, where there's this little cutie in black with her friend gave us a school tour. I'll upload the picture as soon as bird-nii sends me the photographs. Then, I'll mosiac my face coz it has a very funny look on it.. DAMN YOU KUBO-SENSEI, made me look like a bloody pervert. Just kidding. Had the chance of eating food made by the Senior High School students themselves. I've spent like about S$7 over there, but it was worth it. However, the final dessert (coffee pudding) sent me to the toilet.. x.x

So the noon journey ends here with a new journey beginning at night. We went to Changi Village for dinner after we went to -Bird-'s house. The initial plan was to go to Old Changi Hospital (OCH). However, we began to have second thoughts about going there for ghost hunting. Actually it was more of -Bird-'s distress, coz I was pretty much the kind who got used to getting scared since young. Nonetheless, a second option presented to us when we were nearing Changi Village Terminal. It's to wait to till 10+pm and look out for transvestite (aka transies) and take pictures with them. Nonetheless, kor's adventuring spirit got the better of him and we ended up outside of OCH after dinner. Lolz.

Man, the atmosphere there wasn't eerie at first, it was more of "I dun wanna be eaten up by some animals" rather then "I dun wanna see a ghost!" Hahaha.. It was so pitch dark. Nonetheless, we brought our torches and were ready to enter OCH via a very steep slope/road thing when halfway through, I swear my hair stood.. Not pubic hair.. =.= So, feeling slightly freaked out, we decide to enter OCH via Aloha Changi. The crowds there for BBQ was a welcoming sight! Finally, normal human beings at last.. However, gloom got the better of us as we reached the end of the road where OCH is with no single human being in sight. Crud~ We pressed on and started snapping photos of the OCH wing (dunno which one) and then we crossed some broken barricade. The main building presented itself to us as a magnificent and grand sight which withstood the barrage of endless time. The sight was exhilarating in it's own twisted manner. Nonethless, we began to realize what troubles we will get ourselves into if we were to enter the main building. Let's see now, the building has a wide ground area, thus, when multiplied by 7 to 8 levels, the probability of getting lost when trying to avoid the nearest windows to prevent detection would surmount to say, perhaps a 95%?

Again, -Bird- snapping shots at the building when I winced in pain. And LOLLERZ, I was attacked by ants.. ROFL~ So, in the end, our very little adventure came to an end with very little surprises. I swear, the ants sure packed a punch when they decide to nibble you.

Very soon, I'll attach photographs the moment -Bird-nii decides to go online to MSN and send them to me. XD

But still, after all the fright fest, I'm very grateful to have spent the day with you kor. Thank you so much. I hope it pretty much, at least patched the gap or the rift that pretty much created. I'm still feeling very remorse over it.

Oh-ho-ho.. I'm scared.

Crapz. I've failed 2 subjects this semester and will be retaking the papers again the week after. Freaking hell.. I need only 1.8 more marks to pass AAP. I really wanna screw that Yee Mon. Hmm. I'll be heading down to Waseda Shibuya today for a Japanese fest. Afterwhich, heading down to -Bird-'s house and then going down to changi village then old change hospital. As much as loving ghost films, I have much obligations in entering that place. (-Bird- *Hint hint..*) Haha. I'll still go.. XD No worries.

Something interesting..

I've observed some scenes on Mai Oome Zwei Episode 4 to be ridiculously funny. I'm sharing 2 scenes. One with Akane Soir (PureHeart Malachite) and the other with Shiho (Spiraling Spiral Serpentine) and Rosalie (Abyssmal Jadeite).

This is as close as she can get into an experience with sex, perverts and bondage. Omg.


Here we see 2 sadistic ladies that are left behind the shelves due to their deplorable habits of screwing and whipping. Ouch~

Mai Otome Zwei Episode 4: The Linked Dreams

The VERY final episode of the Mai-Otome Zwei series. In overall, there isn't a good story-line to this anime series at all. Episode 3 made me feel so insulted just by being an Otome fan. It's all boobs and breasts-grappling. Utter crap. However, episode 4 just proves it otherwise. No hardcore storyline but the action pretty much made up for it.

Anime Grading (Overall): 3/5

Oh, by the way, I've turned into a Nina fan. So what if she's a little short on the boobs department. Big deal. In anyways, she's a great character. Her own ideals and beliefs are rather conservative, but she's a fun character.

Nonetheless, I present to you Nina, the Otome of Neptune Emerald. Oh ya, her Master's Mashiro Blan Windbloom, kinda sucks to share with Arika. Arika's such a blockhead. No fun.

Here we go. Anyone remember this fair lady?


Hell with Mashiro..


Shhh... Show's about to begin..


NINA!!! NO~~ Don't DROWN!!!


Wow, wonders of bubbles.


OMFG, why am I naked on the other end?


Let me be like Milo FUZE and fuse..

Crap, is it just me or has my robe just turned uglier?

SunRise did the most horrendous thing in the world and that is to degrade Nina's wonderful Ultimate Black Diamond outfit into something so horrible. Kinda remind me of a swordfish. The front of the skirt being the head and the end being the tail-fin. Afterall, Neptune's the God of Water right? Or something like that.

My first visit to a *censored*..

Well, it's been quite an experience for me today. I was in the Bugis and Orchard areas with -birdy- today. Bonding session between brothers. Anyways, our conversations seemed be constantly revolving around girls and sex. What the hell right? But I guess that's part of growing up. Nonetheless, today was a fun day. Watching Ratatouille, window-shopping (or scouting rather) around Bugis Street for clothings and visit interesting shops at Orchard Towers.

Ratatouille is indeed a 5 out of 5 stars film by Pixar. However, all of Pixar's films will get no less than 4 out of 5. I guess it's because of the type of innocence Pixar is able to portray in all it's films. When people grow up, they will become cynics. However, it's only to what extent. Still, this movie is able to touch most audiences' hearts. Oh, by the way, I'm very cynical about politics in Singapore, but nonetheless, Ms Irene Ng, YOU GO GIRL!! I'LL SUPPORT YOU ALL THE WAY.

When walking around Bugis Street, I've realised that I HAVE GOT TO CHANGE MY WARDROBE. There are so many nice clothings I feel like I've got to have it.

Eh-hehe. I've did a very very bad thing today. I've entered a sex-shop. Hahaha. Nonetheless, the experience was rather embarassing yet fun in it's own twisted ways.

What's with old people nowadays? Today's rantings..

I'm currently staying with my granny now. Apparently she's shifted to my house temporarily due to the renovation at my aunt's place. I understand that many people have a misconception about old people being grumpy, slow and some other things. However, I do beg to differ. There are old people out there that are not like that.

Still, in just a short period of 5 days, my granny changed my stand drastically about old people. However, my stand changes to that of such, old people who do not contributes to the society and stay at home idly are the ones that contributes much to the opinions and misconceptions. They are the black sheeps of the group. No, I'm not condemning my grandmother in anyway. However, it proves an energy sapping task to even stay under one roof. Let alone communicate with each other.

I do not have the habit of eating breakfast in the morning during the weekdays, this is because of my school starting early. So, during this holidays, I'm keeping such a pattern least I'm not able to survive the day without breakfast during the school days. I've explained and requested my grandmother not to push me into eating breakfast. So, here I am, early in the morning at 8am using my laptop mapling. From 8.15am at an interval of 15 mins, she keeps yapping at me to have breakfast all the way till 11am. Nonetheless, I pretended not to hear and ignore her. However, the intensity of her voice increased and make it impossible to not hear. Afterwhich, she volunteered to make coffee, I was like "NO! You can't even walk, let alone do something like that." Then, we have the whole process of yakkings repeating from 9.30am to 11am. At lunch time, she yakked me to have lunch till 2pm. I only eat from between 1pm to 2pm out of the habits in my secondary school. Nonetheless, at 12pm sharp, the yakking began. She yakked all the way till 2pm when I was ready to go have lunch. Whoop-de-di-doo. Guess what she did! She decidedly block my entrance out of my room and said: "Oh, you need to eat one is it? I thought you God or something." and refute my exit. If she DID understand me, she'll know that I DO NOT WORK WELL WITH ANYONE UNDER ANY FORMS OF THREATS, needless to even say give in.

So, you see now why I so suddenly hate the elderlies, who IDLES, that much in a short time-frame of 5 days. You can say that I might have placed my judgment too soon. Yes, perhaps there is a minority of idling elderlies out there that do not behave this ways.

Then again, there are those who do not idle and yet behave this way as well. Especially those who were high-earners with extreme powers in their days of youth. However, that we'll leave to another day.

At the moment, everyday is a challenge to even live. Let alone deal with the every little minor details with her at home.

School's Over

Yes, it's the school holidays again~! Darn, I think I'll have FPath Supplementary Paper mounted with AAP Supplementary Paper. Wonder should I study for it?

Yesterday was hell.. I woke up in the morning 9am, logged on to MSN and ready to chiong Maple when suddenly, John popped up with the messenger: "Hey mate, do you know how to do GRADIENTS?" I was like what the f***? Early in the morning, I'm supposed to teach someone E.Maths over the internet? Oh, btw, E.Maths was like so 2 years ago. Amazingly, I remembered how to do it..

Formulae:

Line ->
y = Mx + C [Where M is gradient, C is y-intercept.]

Gradient ->
M = (By - Ay)/(Bx - Ax) [Where A and B are ends of line in coords of (Ax, Ay) and (Bx, By).]

Went out to catch a movie in school with -Bird Flu- and Gambit. 2 movies in fact. Tim Burton's Nightmare before Christmas and Zattoichi. Zattoichi was a rewatch, nonetheless still fun to watch at the last part. Tap dancing rules! I simply adore Tim Burton's works. Lovely.

Went out with -hy- and his brother later to book badminton court today as well. His brother is like so cute. Anyways, managed to grab one of -hy-'s prized possession: A photograph of -hl-. Hey, I'm no pedophile. XD



See, so cute. That's -hl- btw. -Bird Flu-, I swear I'm no pedophile.

Thank you for freeing me..

The past few months were hell. So much uncertainties I've faced alone. Nonetheless, your presence throughout made it feel a little more bearable. I understand the such things cannot happen on the long run. Still, I'm glad that I've met you. The joys and the heartaches I've felt throughout the entirety of this "experience" as you have so termed it. The letter you have with you, I hope can be kept as a memento of me. When even after we graduated, I still hope to be part of your legacy. I believe that with this, I most likely have growth another feather of wisdom and can probably take the world head-on.

Dang, I recover too quickly. 10 minutes ago, I was still crying and confiding it to HY over the phone. After all of this, I hope that it'll not affect the good friendship we have. I still feel awkward about it. I've lost my mood to study. Nonetheless, I believe that with my capabilities, I'll succeed in times like these and conquer my examinations. My emotions during such turbulent times were my motivation to keep me going. I used it to make me wanna study for your sake.

In all, I know that it isn't right to use it as a motivational force. It had pretty much pushed me into the abyss of hell. Nonetheless, I will not blame anyone for my demise. There are those around me who have tried given me advices on the "correct" thing to do. However, my stubbornness was my undoing as I'll only heed to advices I want to listen.

After all that happened, I hope that you will not ostracize me for what I did. It's not within my control as to what had happened. This was a first for me and I think it did a pretty good job at teaching me on what to expect from the one that was truly meant for me. Nonetheless, can I acknowledge you as my god-sibling? That way, I seriously hope that it could serve as a true reminder of what had happened and that I'll not make the same mistake again.

Once again, I am truly sorry.

Sincerely,
[xh]

My dearest friend..

Hey buddy, I know the examinations are up-coming.. Ok, in fact it's today. However, no fear coz I have complete faith in you that you'll pass. I also do know that you will try to overstretch yourself during periods like these to study. (I still remember most of our previous conversations okz? ;P) Nonetheless, take it easy. If you inadvertently catch yourself thinking of the past or start to stare at your scar, try to stop doing so at your earliest realization. Try talking to someone else if I'm not around to take notice of such things. I don't wish to see yourself doing some silly things that ends up with yourself being hurt. (The Redemption was heart wrenching as it is.)

I'll keep all your secrets tight-lipped and hope you do the same for mine. ;P Though I trust that you are not the type who goes telling everyone everything you know.


The Chinese saying goes: "There are no banquets that goes un-dispersed." (Or something like that.) So all good things will someday come to an end. As much as you and I hate something like this, it is probable that one day I'll not be here to let you confide into. So dear Albert, learn to be strong, not physically, but emotionally. Do not let your emotions get the better of you. Studying using a source of depression to motivate yourself is definitely detrimental. Heart-wrenching moments with passions to study do not mix. Still, I know that you are trying your best to hang around the ropes to learn. Give it your best!!

In all, do your best this up-coming semester's examinations and don't stress yourself. Doing something stupid and hurting yourself will definitely hurt people around you badly, like how you inflicted pain and distress onto me with "Redemption". Take it easy and look forward to the new era of the holidays. ROFL~!

Cheers,
Seito Videntur (Man, I love this name. XD)

Pre-examination Stress!! Urgh..

Oh my god.. It's nearly the examinations and we're not done with CSAS yet. Not to worry the rest of you guys out there. Albert, Gambit and I are chionging the assignment right now as I blog.

Anyways, yesterday was fun. We were CSAS-ing and attending my neighbour's baby first month. Too bad I did not take a picture of the baby girl. Sadded.

Guess where I am.. No prizes though..

And here we have another photo. Hurhur..

*Bleep*, the new household brand of hate. (Censored the name already. ;P)

From here on out, these are just opinions and in no way will tarnish the company's reputation as these are just mindless ramblings from a nobody like me. You can find incessant ramblings out there in the internet like mine. So, pay no heed.

I guess many of you would know what *Bleep* stands for right now. Haha. I guess it's pretty insane of them to wanna sue people who downloaded anime from as far back as 2005. They had set up the law of illegal anime downloads just this year, 2007. (For those who are so ignorant of the dates.) I do understand the need for the government to keep downloading rates in Singapore low as we are now being positioned as the top downloaders of illegal contents. However, what does that have to do with *Bleep*? If *Bleep* is working directly under governmental influence of unknownst magnitude, it's probably acceptable. However, it seems to be the case whereby *Bleep* is the one influencing the government.

Doing a little research up on the internet, basically on Wikipedia, I have found something of interest.

-Click here to link- (Removed due to the fact that I dun wanna get sued.)

Seems that whoever is updating data about *Bleep* is obviously doing some serious reputational damage. However, I would not say that the data provided are totally baseless and are ambigious. Firstly, I had bought a few products from *Bleep* and I do not feel satisfied with the quality at all..

Quoted from Wikipedia:
"*Bleep* has attempted to fight widespread anime piracy by pricing box sets at low prices with 13-episode anime VCD box sets at $10 and anime DVD box sets at $20 each."

That's crap, if box sets were sold at $10, I don't think people would mind getting them in bulk. However, if you do go out the streets and do happen to see $10 box sets, those are probably the animations that are very old or animations that are not very welcomed by anime fans in Singapore.

Translations done by them were terrible. I cannot read chinese words that are not simplified (many Singaporeans couldn't as well), thus, proving only one thing. These translations were made by translators perhaps from China or Taiwan. The problem with translations (subbings) done by countries like them is basically the matter of quality. Fonts were horribly chosen. Sometimes the voice-casts the company (*Bleep*) uses can result in ear-bleeding. Why? If you contrast with the original Japanese voice of a character, it can end up sounding wierd (typically too screechy or too low).

I am amazed by the part whereby *Bleep* can claim that translations were done horribly was due to the fault of the limits a VCD has.

Assuming that Singapore belongs to one of the lowest illegal downloading countries, will *Bleep* still earn their fair share of the pie? I think not. Companies like that only has interests in earning money through the hurting of the consumers. Even if Singaporeans do not download animes illegally, they'll still go onto channels like importing the goods from overseas. So, when times like these were to come, will *Bleep* sue these foreign companies for selling anime VCD and DVD to Singaporeans? This will definitely sound ridiculous.

I think that *Bleep*'s main committee got to have the maturity to think like real working adults and not young little kids who will sulk when their little play session does not go too well. Singapore is trying to up her standards as being a hub for animations (one quite successful event was N.E.mation, that was terrific~). In order to up the standards, there must be the goodwill of competition, in this case, *Bleep* against fansubs. For anime-lovers out there, it is a dream to own their set of animations they love. In all, why own a set of animations without much backbone and qualities to it (still having to pay) when you can get mid-range quality animes that have a relatively good subtitling with nothing to lose?

+-----------------------+

For those who think you are more mature out there and may want to argue with me about copyright infringements, I'll gladly hear you out because I want to develope my analytic skills and see life in a more macroscopic view.

Singapore is rapidly trying to promote herself as an IT hub throughout the SEA region. Vast improvements on technology that aids in the advancement of IT can be seen. This includes up-ing the download and upload rates of the internet, better computers and laptops and wireless connections throughout designated places.

When the country wants to develope herself so rapidly, there is always a flipside to a coin, in our case here, illegal downloading of copyrighted data.

Copyright issues will plague us for the rest of the existance of humanity. It is not something a full force approach can prevent. In order to prevent this, the government not only have to find means that can appease the nation into stopping illegal downloads, the nation themselves must understand the reason why illegal downloads are wrong. I've seen great effort from the government trying to promote against piracy (HIP alliance and all..), however, people must change their concepts towards piracy.

As the nation prosper, it doesn't means that people are willing to spend more. The older generations are always telling the young ones to learn how to save money for the rainy days, thus, whatever you can save on, you save. So, with an open channel like direct downloading of excellently subbed animes, the younger generations can actually scrimp on having to spend this money for something else, say a figurine collection of a particular anime.

Thus, in order to change such a mindset, the government must focus on telling the younger generation that when it comes to spending on original products, do not resist the urge to splurge. Which in this case is ridiculous to the point whereby, "who are you to tell me how to spend my money?" Isn't saving up supposed to be something positive? It's supposed to be a good thing right? (When it comes to buying something you really want.) At least it is so much better than to rob people. It's not supposed to be a joke but anyways, you are welcome to join in with me and laugh.

In no way a government can portray this idea so straightforwardly. Therefore, this is whereby various prominent companies for this industry must come in and aid the government. WHEN I SAY AID, I DO NOT MEAN BY HELPING OUT AND SUE PEOPLE. These companies can create products take make these anime-collecters feel that the products are to die for, and at the same time, making it affordable to them. I do believe that no matter how cheaply a company is selling a product, they actually still earn from it. In *Bleep*'s case, if sales figures really matter that much, then do it already. Sell it cheaply and at the same time of good quality. I have imported of taiwan VCD that seemingly costs much lower (excluding shipping fees) and yet of a better quality. The graphics do not look as pixelated as what *Bleep* is producing.

All in all, you can rebuke me in all that I have to say. Condemn me as childish or being a scrouge if it pleases you. It's not going to change the fact that when an organisation is challenging the very people that feeds it, the organisation will definitely fall in only a matter of time.

I remember now!!!

I now remembered what was that incident that peeves me off in the previous blog entry.

Singaporeans really love to complain, don't they? First, they complain the roads of Singapore getting more and more accident prone. However, if you do realize, most of the people who complain of unsafe drivings are often the ones who initiated it.

On the road out to the car-park, my dad made a left turn onto the main road. His van was already at least 60% on the road when this KFC deliveryman decided to squeeze in the gap with his motorcycle. Shock the living daylights out of us. In any case, that nincompoop gave us a death glare and then gave us the famous "mid-finger" when he drove off a distance.

WOW~! There you have a grade A motorcyclist that have the best of road manners!!

I really feel like moving to Japan after I finish my NS. This is so horrific.

This entry is called: "Untitled".

I have no inspiration for creating a title today, so it'll just be a standard "untitled". The next time round I'll try with some random titles that makes no link with the content. Hehe.

I was so annoyed today for some good reason but forgotten it. It has to do with being a Singaporean. Sighs. If it's important, it wouldn't have slipped my mind. So, heck with it. Lately, I've been having second opinions on homosexuals. I've been re-watching Mai HiME lately. It seems that relationship between the same sex have a more intimate feel to it than your regular relationship. I wonder why.

Lately, I've been slowly maturing my ways of thinking. The various aspects of how people can think. In a Singaporean's point of view anyway..

When given the idea of homosexuality, my initial reaction and thoughts will always be shock and disgust. However, in my current situation when given the idea of a homo-couple, I think I'll go: "How sweet! What made you both get together?". Be it heterosexuality or homosexuality, a couple can only get together when there is love. I may not know the definition for what true love is, but hey, I'm slowly building the idea of it day by day.

When young, my idea of love was that both parties must like each other. When thinking of each other, one must feel elated and joy. When being together, one must always give in to the other. Technically speaking, aesthetics.

As I mature physically into my secondary 1 to 2 days, my idea of love was relatively physical. There must be physical intimacy with both parties to keep the relationship going.

When I'm in my secondary 3 to polytechnic year 1.2, my idea of love is that no matter what, you can only love someone of the opposite gender. Love sets the heart aflutter. You feel that you need to be the person all the time, or else you'll go emo-ing. (Take note, it's a need and not a want.) You want to share all your emotions with that special someone and hope that you'll be reciprocated with that person sharing all his/her emotions back with you.

My current view on love is that no matter who the person is, you love the person for who he/she is. Whether is it someone of your gender or not, someone of your race or not. Loving that person also means that how much you are willing to give up for that person. (Thank you Carmen for enlightening me on this bit.) Even if it means not being able to be with him/her for the rest of your lives but still looking out for your special someone in the dark.

Since secondary 1, I began to realize that being romantic is just an aesthetic part of love. It's something that you can show so easily that you can flaunt it off as and when you like to. So to all the Juliets out there, these romantic Romeos you can find on the streets are not as perfect as you think.

I know that after posting this blog entry out would most likely have me labelled as a gay. There will definitely be final judgement upon me. But to me, I'll go: "What the hey? At least I'm growing up to a better person who can see life in a bigger picture."

Happy 9th August!!

Happy birthday Singapore~! It's finally 9th August.. The 42nd anniversary of Singapore's independence! Cheers~!

Are Singaporeans that incorrigible? Maybe I have to agree so..

When placed with the stereotypes that Singaporeans are "kind" and "courteous" and are the kind of Asians many tourist want to meet, I can't help but feel cynical. When I was younger, I often beamed in pride when people said that Singapore is a fine country. As I go older, I went morbid after I discovered the true meaning of the sentence. Ok, maybe just a little peeved and not morbid.

Singapore, a great country that expanded successfully in terms economics and many other aspects. However, character-wise I fear I have to rank them the worst. No offense to anyone. In no way am I defaming anyone or any country with opinions of mine.

Just today, 2 incidences made me feel that "whether is being a Singaporean really to be proud of?"

The government and many charitable organizations have been placing much efforts into expanding the idea of "Charity", "Volunteer" and "Community Service". To many of us, being charitable might just mean donations and nothing else, however I being to differ. Being charitable is to share whatever you do have with someone that does not have the capabilities to own what you have. This can be done in everyday life. When sitting in a crowded bus, when spotting someone with physical hindrance (say an old person or a pregnant lady), do offer your seat to them.

If you do think about it, in a weird but true sense, it is still being charitable. The physically hindered individual cannot afford a seat in the crowded bus. You do have a seat and you can share it or better still, offer it to the person who needs it more.

Ok, first incident. I was carrying an A3 size box filled with ceramic cups and plates and was on board the bus back home. The ceramic set was for the wagashi event this saturday.. Hurray~~ In any case, I have to get a seat and fast, cause not only was the box filled with fragile items, my hands were cramping up fast. Seating behind me at the end of the bus were 4 physically-abled young polytechnic students. I had to occupy 2 seats as I cannot afford to break the cups and plates nor leave them unattended. Upon reaching the interchange, there were many alighted, and even more that boarded the bus. Peculiarly, there were many elderly that boarded the bus than what I had expected (I wonder why?). The 4 young ignoramuses ignored these people. Not able to withstand the sight of that many elderly struggling not to fall when the bus came to a halt at every stop, I gave up my own seat to an elderly man. If the situation permits, I would have given up the other seat that I placed my box to another elderly.

This point was when I began to wonder, why would many people had the impression that Singaporeans are kind? Maybe some of them do watch our charity show, however, I still think that these shows were a kind of facade to make Singaporeans look compassionate. The ignoramus should be ashamed, not only are they discarding away this wonderful stereotype, they are also discarding also most of our "face". Then what gets me really annoyed was that they started to curse and swear in jest. Why the F*** would you curse and swear in front of the young children on board? Haha, in what position am I to reprimand on them? Still, cursing and swearing in vulgarities should be done when you are really annoyed by something(s) and not for the fun of it.

Talk about scolding vulgarities, children nowadays really shock me with their perverse knowledge on what is to be known as the "forbidden words". They can come up with the most horrible of vulgarities these days. Where's all that "children are innocent" nonsense coming out from? They can talk to you about sex and then tell you what is the latest trend in sex positions. Trust me, their descriptions for it either arouses you or disgusts you. It was shocking and disgusting for me. Ok, this is too much digression.

Second incident, I was conned by a merchant today. He sold to me a faulty printer cartridge and refuse to change for me. I do understand that reconditioned cartridges have their risks, but selling a cartridge nearly the price of the original thing and not being able to refund or change is ridiculous. In any case, blame it on my bad luck to lost the receipt too. However, I bought it from him about 30 minutes ago, surely he should have remembered me. I still strongly believed he feigned ignorance.

Promoting entrepreneurship in Singapore is a very common thing, in fact, too common that you have a whole database of a few hundred of companies selling the same products. The market now emphasizes on a dog eat dog world instead of workmanship and quality. In the path of earning big money, many resorted to unscrupulous means. Even cheating or probably hurting consumers in the process. We can easily take the news report on the TV stations regarding cheating luxury taxi drivers on tourists as an example. These luxury taxi drivers target tourists at anywhere on the streets and charge them at the initial rate of S$35. Thankfully, CASE and various governmental agencies have now made it clear that these luxury taxis can only charge at the initial rate of S$35 at specific places like the airport or at various hotels.

In summation, Singapore is still a great country in my heart at the moment. However, if the society here cannot change for the better for whatsoever reasons, I think for the benefit of myself, I will leave the country.

Ending of in a light-hearted tone, I wish Singapore and to it's inhabitants (Singaporeans of course!) a happy be-early National Day~!

Ratatouille! I wanna watch!! Buy me tickets!!!

Geez.. When is this cute movie coming out? Ratatouille is the best film graphix by Pixar so far. I can't imagine normal graphix creators going into the detailed designs of the characters. Remy the rat (aka your main character), is a breakthru in 3D graphix design. Oh btw, for those thinking that I misspelled the word graphics, think again...

I seriously can't wait for the movie to be out. Who wants to watch this movie with me? Post post people.. Haha~

Sighz.. 15 minutes before my AAP lecture starts. Good lord save me. The lecturers these days are so boring. This particular one teaching me AAP has a sadistic streak in her. She can smile and giggle while talking about cutting up a dog or a cat. Worst than that Prof. Umbridge (if that's how her name is spelt.) Talking about Prof. Umbridge, I think I am reminded of my current CSAS3 teacher. Oh my.. She can laugh at her own cold jokes and the rest of the class were like: *silence*. Not to mention she has a similar disposition. However, I am grateful that my teacher is much much kinder than that professor..


Okay, gotta go now.. I'll keep on posting when I have the time.

P.S. Someone please gimme a treat to watch Ratatouille. Hehe.

TPJCG Korokke Event

Today's Kare Korokke Event rocks! I was there a bit tad too early. However, Gambit was there earlier. Haha.. I'm supposed to be the by 12pm with Gambit for the second shift, but according to Janet, Gambit reached school at 10am. ROFL~! In any case, today's event was a success~! Cheers to everyone~!

Even though this is a relatively good day, there are much downs to it. Some idiot tried to dispose of the dirty oil by draining into the sink. WHO IN TARNATION WOULD DISPOSE RELATIVELY IMPURE OIL INTO A SINK? I got a pretty good idea to who that person is but I shan't point fingers just yet.


Janet was an epitome of extreme stress and clumsiness. Haha~ No offence Janet~~ (No~~ Don't hack me with that parang!! Argh~~ *Moans*) She overestimated the cooling abilities of the aircon and underestimated the oil's ability to retain heat. In the end, she poured the hot oil into a plastic bag, and the bag melted cause it's too hot.

All in all, it's a good day today.. Hehe..

Have anyone read this story yet?

I've recently read this online story: I believe you. It presented itself to me when -Jz- emailed my a perculiar looking link.

http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyou.htm

It's written by this Singaporean author, Low Kay Hwa. (Kudos!)

A story about a "cursed" girl that actually has mental disorders and a boy from NJC.

It's written with a weak description. (Typical of all Singaporean authors.) However, the gist came from the dialogues the characters have. Brilliantly written from a local author..

Ratings: 3.5/5

P.S. I'd so love to get this as a birthday present.

Currently reading: [The Soldier's Son Trilogy Book 2: Forest Mage] by Robin Hobb

I hate this week!! Let's discuss on Black Sheeps and the World!!

So many tests so little time.. Just managed to cramped my MGEN and BCHM2 for tomorrow. I don't have much space left. My brain hurts~~ Argh~~ What's the point of doing a project in a team when I am one of the few who contributes and there are black sheeps that do not contribute? Even if they do, the work done are pretty much slip-shod, no?

I think there are quite a few categories in the black sheep role, aka Devil's Advocate. (Remember your CSAS2, ppl from TP ASc.)

1. Does not do work, pretend to ask around as if they care
This is the group of people where no work is done and at the nearing of the due date, they pretend to ask around. However, by the time they asked, you would have probably done their part.

2. Does not do work and does not care
This group are the simplest to identify. Title is self-explanatory.

3. The pretentious social butterflies
I think this is one of the worst group of black sheeps you can find. They do not contribute in any form and do not care about the project. They make you feel good cause they think they are so darn popular and without knowing, you would have probably done their job for them.

4. The digression freaks
This group of black sheeps love to shift the course of the group's priority. By default, commitment for the project can be shifted to other priorities like CCA and such. However, there are incidences like talking that results in the digression.

P.S. These are what I basically observed. If you find anything that can be added in, do tell me. I'll edit this post and give you the relevent credentials. Haha~

Who likes a Dead Mutt? Damned Mutt!!

I'm now going to continue de-fleshing a cooked dog bone in about 30 minutes time. I can't stand the smell of that damned mutt. Apparently, I've boiled that mutt's backbone for like the second time now and it's still only half-cooked. Yux.. The things I do for completing that retarded AAP project. Lolz.

The flesh, even after boiling, is so hard to remove. Not to mention that the smell of that piece of dog jerky is horrendous. Funny part is that the dog broth smells like chicken stock. Omg. I'm turning into a vegetarian.

School Sucks and I'm Pathetic.

As the saying goes: "As the going gets tough, the tough gets going." I began to realize how true this is. I've always thought that I'm a very strong person, stress-free and all. I'm your usual bo-chap kind of guy. Out there in the school, I try to portray myself as a strong and capable person, but I am actually not. I understand that I can lead, but I prefer the assisting role.

Why's that so? It's probably because subconsciously I know that I cannot handle pressure. The reason I gave my blog the title "Spinel of Victory" was not only because Juliet Nao Zhang from Mai-Otome is one that I idolized, it's also due to the fact that I hate losing.

Those out the who knows me will know that even though I do not study for my tests, I always score a borderline pass. Why? That's because I hate to lose despite not placing any effort, during these last minutes near-death situations, I force myself to think. Well, yeah, short term pressure I can accept.

The Spinel of Victory not only signifies a glorious victory, but probably at the same time signifies a person who is able to not buckle under the pressure. Perhaps it was too ambitious of me to give this blog such a magnificent title.

School, of late, have been a tedious and monotonous journey. Out there, I find people of all sorts. I agree with what Mdm Huang Yan said, "Students in TP really lack the academic maturity." I agree I lack this maturity. That's why I'm buckling under the pressure of the myriad of projects. My team-mates are all like zombies now. They all seek me out as a motivational source. However, I've made it clear that I refused to take on the leadership role. Despite that, I still try to make the effort to be that pillar of strength. However, I'm fading off soon, like a burnt off wax candle.

I've spent so much time just forking out to do these projects that I'm not getting any revision done. Well, some of you might say that instead of wasting time writing this blog entry, might as well study. True, however, I need this blog as an outlet to de-stress. So whether you read it or not, it's no big deal. Cause I'm not seeking readers in the first place. I'm so tired, I'm having insomnia of late that only allows me to sleep only after 12. I have to roll all over the bed from 10pm. 2 hours to let me think of how well I've done during the day, and how screwed I am the next.

People say death is the quickest solution of all things. I used to say it's foolish. However, it feels to me that it might be true after all.

F.Y.I: I have no intentions of killing myself. I'm not a weakling.

Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix

Is it just me? Or has the movie degraded itself. It's getting darker and much sinister, but I can accept that. However, the plots aren't keeping me at the edge of my seat anymore. I've paid S$7 to only enjoy the part where Sirius Black and all his kakis fight that Voldemort's cheesy "Army of retards and the stupid generals". I saw, black smoke and white smoke, then I like, after it disappear, I don't like. Lol.

Upcoming Korokke Event

I'm so looking forward to this upcoming korokke event this month. It's on the last Saturday of this month. We're having curry croquettes (kare korokke). Can't wait to try them out.

For more details, please find our TPJCG Cuisine Sub-committee leader Janet..

I really can't wait.

Price as follows:
Members - $5/pax
Non-members - $8/pax
Sub-committee members - Free-of-charge

So please come down for this event!! Onegai ishimas!!